Thursday, April 21, 2011

What NOT to say...

Maybe its hormones, maybe its me being too self-critical, maybe its them... Whatever it may be, I have become extra sensitive on the subject of my belly. I am in the home stretch now and its very clear that I am pregnant, but for some reason I keep running into people that feel the need to say something about my pregnant belly. It would be great if they had some good or positive things to say, but I have heard, "Wow, you should lay off those donuts", "You are HUGE!", and my favorite, "Are you having twins?" Really people, really?! I am carrying a little human being and I am 7 months pregnant, what am I suppose to look like? So, I have complied a very special list of things not to say to a pregnant woman of any size, I read this list off a great pregnancy article and it truly made me chuckle and think, "Thank goodness, I am not just being paranoid!" Those of you who have had babies will chuckle and nod your heads in agreement and those of you who haven't had babies will get well informed, so feel free to pass the new info along ;)

1) "You look like you're ready to pop!"
---The last thing a very pregnant woman wants to hear is how big she looks. We are already frustrated and tired of being pregnant and reminding us of this isn’t good for anyone. This could potentially turn into an emotional situation that no one wants to be a part of. Might I suggest saying instead, "You look great. How are you feeling?"

2) "Are you sure there aren't twins in there?"
---After a comment like that I would love to say, "What's your excuse? I'm carrying a life!" But instead of lashing out we just feel horrible about ourselves. Women are self-conscious enough as it is and when we're carrying an extra 20 or so pounds its safe to assume that we are extra sensitive about our looks. You can always try the old classic, "Do you know what your having?"

3) "Can I touch your belly?"
---The first thing I want to say to people when they ask this is, "Who the heck are you?" Unless you’re a close relative or friend, this is just awkward. Maybe just try skating by with, "Your belly is so cute."

4) "Enjoy everything now, because once the baby comes, you can kiss it goodbye"
---Well thanks captain obvious for telling me that my life is about to change, as if I already didn't know that. I have had 9 months to think about that. Pregnancy is such an emotional time, so reminding me that I will never enjoy sleep, skinny jeans or a minute alone ever again is not helpful. Why don't you say something like, "Kids are a lot of work, but they are worth it! Enjoy every minute."

5) "You shouldn't be eating or drinking that."
---Well gosh person I hardly know, I am well aware of my food restrictions and limitations, if I have made a conscience decision to eat or drink anything, then that is my business. I know whats best for me and my baby. There is not even a good thing to say instead of this, because bottom line is, I craved it, I'm eating it, and its probably the best food I've had in my mouth all day so leave me alone please. Thanks!

6) "I don't believe in natural childbirth or my wife had a horrible labor"
---Awkward! The only person I need to be talking to about labor and the birthing process is my Dr. so please step away quickly. Enough said.

7) "Are you going to breastfeed?"
---Unless you are my mother or a close friend, there is no need to put this question out in the air. Breastfeeding is completely a personal choice and when the time comes, you will know whats best for you and your baby. No one should make you feel guilty of that, nor is it anyone's business.

There you have it, my very special list of all the things people have actually said to me. Maybe working in a building of 90+ companies has set me up for all those questions, but when in doubt, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Just smile and keep walking, and everyone will have a happier day :)

3 comments:

Mama Benitez said...

150% agree

Unknown said...

i second that sista!

Lindsay @ Delighted Momma said...

Agreed! Great list! People need to think..then speak. XO